the AYA enthusiastic consent contract.

Definition: Looking for the presence of a yes rather than the absence of a no.


Agreement: I maintain the consent of the AYA community to use our shared space if, and only if, I understand and abide by the principles below. 


  • Enthusiastic Consent is mandatory.
    •
      1. If it isn’t a “hell yes” it’s a no.
      2. Both the request and the response must be verbal and explicit, such as, “Are you comfortable with me touching you?” “Yes, go ahead.”
      3. Consent must come from a person capable of consenting, i.e., of age, not intoxicated, and not under social/personal pressure.
    1. If consent is not given in the above mentioned manner, it isn’t a hell yes, so it’s a no.
    2. No is always a final answer. 
      1. The request should not be made again. 
      2. Do not persist or pressure people with similar requests. 
      3. “No” to more than one request most likely means “Please leave me alone.”
    3. Consent should be expected for any interaction that engages with a person's body, personal space, or belongings.
      1. This includes staring, dancing, buying people drinks, joining someone’s table, joining conversations, close standing, close talking, sexually suggestive language, touching someone or their belongings, escalating, etc. 
      2. Bar staff will ask for consent from the receiving guest(s) before pouring a drink ordered for them. If you need help, ask any staff member for an “angel shot.”
      3. Please be mindful of how your presence may affect others nearby even if they aren’t the object of your current interaction. 
    4. Consent should be requested and given before and throughout the interaction.
    5. The interaction should stop immediately without persisting, coaxing or adding pressure if at any point:
      1. A verbal “no” is presented
      2. “Stop” hand gesture or pulling away
      3. Body language stiffens, eye contact is avoided, touching is not reciprocated 
      4. It is realized by either party that consent was given under pressure or intoxication 
    6. It is the active/initiating person’s responsibility to ensure that the person(s) they are interacting with have given and are maintaining enthusiastic consent. 

    Support

    All bar staff, safety management and founders are equipped to help and/or intervene if a guest is feeling they are in a threatening situation. 

  • If a guest is unable to make space to communicate their need for support simply ask a staff member for an “angel shot or drink”. They will know what that means and stay close or call for backup to monitor the situation or intervene. 
    •
    • If you need time to address your harm you can contact Coach or Jo via email or IG messenger when you are ready. We also have business cards available at the coffee bar with contact information. EMAIL: rach@asyouaredc.co or jo@asyouaredc.com. IG: @asyouaredc


    **This is a living document, developed in consultation with the community. Please be encouraged to share any questions, suggestions or requests with Coach and Jo.

     

    Resources:

    The Mix: Essential Support for under 25s by:  Nishika Melwani  Updated on 06-Nov-2021

    https://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/having-sex/enthusiastic-consent-22964.html